This piece contains one 20in x 26in x 10in pillow which contains photographs printed on 100% cotton fabric and crystalized with borax. This piece is not displayed on the bed it refers to but is sited on the floor. In this piece, which is a self-portrait, my face fully appears. It shows one of my hands. I have portrayed drowning, suffering from love, and being abandoned while asleep. Since everyone is used to seeing a pillow on a bed every day, putting this work on the floor stands for itself and will give the audience a new opportunity to observe it differently. Our bed is the most private and calm place for most of us, and visitors walking through the gallery find their “private place” hanging on the floor instead of lying on a bed. It is influenced by Tracey Emin’s My Bed. I was also greatly influenced by Maryam Ashkanian’s Sleep Series. People’s portraits were stitched on pillows depicting them while they were sleeping. In my work, I used borax crystals to make my work look like sugar. In Iran’s tradition, sugar and sugar cones play a massive role in wedding ceremonies. The groom must bring a sugar cone as a gift to the bride’s house before the wedding. After that, a man from the groom’s family has to break the sugar cone with a special hammer to reveal the gender of their future baby. If he successfully breaks the sugar cone on the first attempt, they will have a son. If not, and the cone breaks after several blows, they will have a daughter. I found this tradition anti-woman and question it in my artwork.
As a multimedia artist, I believe a photograph becomes more effective when it changes and evolves from a 2D surface to a 3D sculpture. I used myself as a model for this piece because the whole concept started in my personal life when I experienced sexual abuse from my partner. As a victim, I couldn’t talk about the abuse I endured because, in Iran’s patriarchal society, the blame is always on the woman because she chose to be in a sexual relationship with a man. At the same time, it is forbidden religiously and culturally. Those days became the most significant evolution in my artistic life because I experienced and felt something deep in my soul that started to emerge in my artwork. Is there anything more beautiful than a wounded soul who begins to sing?
